Just a glimpse of those bones...

I feel fucking terrible today. There isn't enough sunshine in the day at the moment - if any and it's really playing on my mind.

I've always had 'problems' when it comes to being happy or even vaguely so, and this winter seems to have really compounded all my emotions in to one big horrid ball.

On the plus side, I can feel myself accepting less food again and it feels so much better. I am feeling so much better in terms of energy levels and I'm not getting any sort of pain/bloating any more from over eating which is fantastic :)

I'm really looking forward to getting back down to a small size 8..not pushing it at a size 10, like I am at the moment.

Job wise - I have a meeting with Christy at Cooper Lomaz tomorrow to finalise a few bits and bobs as I got confirmation from work today that I am fine to leave on Friday 6 February..so a week tomorrow :)

...

Okay, forgot to finish writing this - but my mood has lifted a tiny, wee bit but as ever I'm trying to tell myself otherwise and making myself grumpy again.

Was meant to be seeing my boyfriend tonight but he's having a practise for a gig tomorrow - there's no way I can say anything bad about that as bands should always come first when practises are needed but I was really looking forward to seeing him tonight as I think it would have made me feel a lot better.

Umph. I really need to stop being such a whinning cow :P it doesn't help in any way!

And on to the money...

( Had a bit of a spend today... )

Waa..got a wee bit wet on the way to work today. It was not exactly chucking it down with rain, rather it was that awful spitty stuff that you think is doing you no harm until you get indoors and realise you're drenched.

Anyho, food intake went a bit tits up yesterday - mainly because I ate dinner at home and then realised that I was having a meal at Dan's too..whoops!

The whole job thing seems to be okay still - look set for a Friday 6 February leaving date and may even get a week or so in between leaving and starting my new role. Hurray!

And now, as ever..on to the money...

( I've been very good.. )

Oomph, I ended up cramming my face at midnight last night..hell only knows why. Didn't need it and didn't want it.

Anyway, today is going well food wise - going to pop out to get a 70cal packet of crisps in a wee while.

I had a meeting with Cooper Lomaz about 'the job' yesterday evening and I've been offered it :D happy days - and further more, NU look like they will agree to me leaving on 6 Feb w/ my redundancy pay still intact. Double :D

( Money, money, money..stuff )

..it's all gone rather well today :)

I've stuck to 1200 cals - which I know is a fair amount at the moment but it should help me to start shifting the weight again.

I've also managed to sell a few bits and pieces which is always welcome!

( What I've sold for my records! )

And probably the best thing for today: I got offered a new job. It's contract work for a rather large publishing company and it's paying £500/week after tax :D

Only problem is..I need to get to work tomorrow and sort out my notice/redundancy. Eek.

My maintainance at 124lbs is fucked. I've ballooned. Fucking idiot.

There are various contributing factors to this:
- Grandmother getting ill
- Kicking the ex out
- Being skint & eating crap the whole time

They are certainly factors but there's no one to blame for fucking up, bar myself.

Pfft.

Tomorrow is Monday 26 January - & I WILL be getting back to how I should me. I'm fed up of being the fat one again.

( And some finance type stuff that no-one needs to really concern themselves with... )